Refounding? More Like Re-Branding Bullshit
The Illusion of a Fresh Start
"Refounding." Seriously? Give me a freakin' break. These execs think we're that stupid? It's called a pivot, plain and simple. When a company can't hack it, they try to spin it as some kind of bold new beginning. Like hitting the reset button will magically erase all their past failures.
Handshake's Demands and the AI Distraction
Handshake wants employees back in the office five days a week, demanding "a pace and number of hours that is meaningful." Translation: "We screwed up, and now you're gonna pay for it with your lives." This whole "invigorating" thing? That's what they hope will happen. Hope ain't a strategy, people. More like desperation fueled by a dying business model.
And this Yale lecturer, Jon Iwata, talking about AI causing CEOs to have "existential questions." Existential questions? No, buddy, it's about job security. These guys see AI as a shiny new toy, a way to distract everyone from the fact that they have no freakin' clue what they're doing. "What business are we really in?" The business of staying relevant, by any means necessary, even if it means slapping a fresh coat of paint on a crumbling foundation. Don’t Call It a Pivot. These Executives Are ‘Refounding’ Their Start-Ups.
The Real Estate Refound: Desperation in Concrete Form
Jumping on the Bandwagon: "Refound Residential"
Lake Washington Partners launching "Refound Residential"? Okay, so now everyone's doing it. Diversification is the name of the game, they say. But let's be real, it's about finding something – anything – that's still making money in this dumpster fire of an economy.
Corporate Jargon and Questionable Strategies
Jordan Lott spouts the usual corporate jargon about "long-term thinkers" and "reinvesting into our properties." But how long is "long-term" when the market's changing faster than a TikTok trend? LKWP has been around since the 50s, but will their old-school mentality work in this new world? I don't know, and frankly, I doubt it.
Adaptive Reuse: A Fancy Term for Cheap Upgrades
Adaptive reuse? That's just a fancy way of saying they're buying up old, run-down buildings and slapping on some cheap upgrades. "High-quality units at a cost that is more affordable than new construction." Yeah, right. Affordable for whom? The same tech bros who are getting laid off left and right?
Ignoring Metrics and Outsourcing Expertise
Lott claims they "don't believe in complex metrics of financial performance." What? Are you kidding me? How can you run a business without tracking key indicators? Oh right, just hold onto properties for 50 years and hope they go up in value. That's a strategy for trust fund babies, not serious investors. I mean, offcourse, real estate values generally climb over decades, but that's no guarantee of profitability.
They're "happy to hire best-in-class property management companies." Translation: "We have no idea what we're doing in the residential market, so we'll outsource it to someone who pretends they do."
This "Refounding" Craze? It's a Symptom, Not a Solution
This whole "refounding" trend is a symptom of something much bigger: a lack of innovation and a fear of failure. Instead of building something truly new, these companies are just repackaging the old, hoping to fool investors and employees alike. "You only get this one chance," Ms. Kelly said about the refounding, but that's bullshit. They'll keep "refounding" until the money runs out, and then they'll blame everyone but themselves.
Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe there is some genius to it. Maybe it's not a desperate grasp at straws, but a genuine attempt to adapt and evolve. But let's be real, it ain't.
